Sometimes I feel like I fall back into the same patterns. It seems to happen when I am happy and moving forward and feeling like I have a handle on things (at least a little). Then a relationship goes weird, I perceive something more clearly, someone says something, I look at myself more judgmentally, and I fall right back to 7th grade Margaret. Very unsure, untrusting of relationships, frustrated that I said something, frustrated that I haven't overcome something, and then very very humbled. I guess I'm not progressing like I thought I was. But maybe it is just 2 steps forward, 1 back (or it seems like 3 back!). I hope I can conquer myself in this life. Maybe just being aware that I need to is what I will accomplish?
Also, as I water my plants, I notice that sometimes I over water. I think that is how I treat relationships, too. I need to be patient and wait. I need to give space and time. I can't keep watering and watering to save a plant. I may need to back off, and let the Lord do the growing part.
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